Over the course of six seasons, The Sopranos introduced dozens of compelling characters and wove them into countless dramatic storylines. While Tony Soprano was undoubtedly the main focus throughout the series, in showing both his criminal and family life, the writers introduced audiences to a host of gangsters and Soprano family members with their own motivations and quirks. For many viewers, the mobsters that worked with or against Tony were probably the most interesting but, in terms of the show’s themes, it was actually his children that were the more important characters.
A.J. and Meadow certainly aren’t the most exciting members of the Soprano family. Indeed, some fans have expressed frustration and disappointment at A.J.’s character arc in particular, finding him alternatively boring and annoying. Meanwhile, Meadow Soprano generally received less screen time after she left for college, becoming a secondary character. Despite these points, A.J. and Meadow are, in many ways, the core of The Sopranos, representing Tony’s own trauma as well as his hopes and fears.
Generational Trauma Is at the Core of The Sopranos Storytelling
On the surface, The Sopranos may appear to be a simple crime drama, but it is, in fact, an incredibly cerebral show with an interest in psychology and culture. The series broke many of the established rules of mob stories to explore the human condition, philosophy, and other big concepts. From Tony’s dreams to his conversations with his therapist, Dr. Jennifer Melfi, The Sopranos is plainly about more than just murder and mayhem. More than anything else, however, the series is about generational trauma and how parents can pass on their worst traits to their children.
Throughout the series, Tony regularly discusses his childhood with Dr. Melfi, revealing how his mother’s abuse and his father’s criminality made him the man he became. He also makes clear that, on some level, he blames his parents for his current life. He raises the topic of genetics often and refers to his bad genes and, on more than one occasion, contemplates what his life would be like if his father had not been in the mafia. Dr. Melfi struggles to make Tony see that his relationships with women are often an extension of his feelings for his mother and tries to convince him that he can break old patterns and become better than his father. This tension between past and present and Tony’s fear that genetics and family history are destiny are ultimately reflected in the character-arcs of his children.
Both of Tony’s kids, each in their own way, go through the same struggle that he went through as a child. They both come to the realization that their father is a criminal and slowly process what that means for them. While Tony’s initial exposure to his father’s career, watching him chop a man’s finger off, is far more dramatic than what A.J. or Meadow go through, all three are depicted as grappling with how they view their father, knowing what he’s capable of. In this sense, Tony’s children represent another link in a chain of trauma and his failure to break the cycle, instead passing on the darkness he inherited from his own father and infecting another generation.
By the end of The Sopranos, Meadow abandons her plans to become a pediatrician, instead opting to pursue a career in law. It’s hinted that she’ll likely end up working for a big firm that represents people like her dad. Meanwhile, A.J. is working in the film industry thanks to a connection Tony has. As such, it’s likely that his son will also make connections to organized crime and benefit indirectly from that world. Thus, fans see that Tony has failed to break the cycle that he’s a part of. While neither of his children are outright criminals, Meadow has seemingly abandoned her revulsion at her father’s criminal life, choosing to serve others like him, and A.J. will remain on the edges of that world.
Tony’s Relationship with His Children Reflects His Fears
Tony Soprano is an interesting character because, while he is a terrible person, capable of great cruelty, he exhibits a degree of self-awareness and hints of humanity that are lacking among many of his peers. While it never stops him from continuing on his dark path, he occasionally shows remorse for his actions and regret for who he’s become. Nowhere is this more clear than in how he interacts with his children.
Throughout The Sopranos, the only true affection he displays is towards A.J. and Meadow. He tells them he loves them often, something he often withholds even from his wife, Carmela. He also agonizes over their well-being, their happiness, and their future. Many of his panic attacks are brought on by fears surrounding his kids, and they are most often the subject of his conversations with Dr. Melfi. Further, much of the guilt he feels about his life and his criminal behavior is rooted in how he thinks it may be affecting A.J. and Meadow.
Relating back to the theme of generational trauma, Tony often laments the idea that A.J. will follow in his footsteps. While he, at times, shows frustration that his son isn’t as tough as he was, he is also glad to find that A.J. seemingly lacks his violent tendencies. In seeking to keep his only son out of the mob and away from that world, Tony shows an understanding that his life is fundamentally wrong in some way and true care for someone other than himself in trying to achieve more for his child.
Likewise, Tony alternates between annoyance at Meadow’s movement away from her traditional culture and values as she becomes immersed in new ideas at college and relief at the prospect of her breaking away from him. While he clearly loves her deeply, he states, on more than one occasion, that he hopes she will get far away from him and start a new life. This, again, speaks to Tony’s understanding that he’s a bad person and the capacity to care for someone else more than he does for himself.
Carmela’s corruption is passed on to her children
Another major theme of The Sopranos is the corrupting influence Tony has on those around him and how many people who are not officially in the mafia are complicit in its crimes. This element of the series is particularly reflected in the arc of Tony’s wife, Carmela, and how she reconciles herself with how he makes his money. From the beginning of the show, Carmela is shown to be conflicted about her life, benefiting from Tony’s crimes while often expressing guilt about it to her priest, Father Intintola. Through her children, however, this internal conflict reaches its peak.
Early in The Sopranos, Carmela tends to use her children as an excuse or justification for Tony’s crimes and her acceptance of them. She claims that it’s necessary to provide for her kids and give them a good life. She also appears to measure her personal success and prestige in terms of what A.J. and Meadow achieve. As time goes on, however, she comes to realize that, by compromising her morals, she has actually exposed her children to their father’s corruption and made them a part of that world, making them guilty as well.
The turning point for Carmela as a character comes in the Season 3 episode “Second Opinions,” when she speaks to a therapist, Dr. Krakower, and he forces her to openly confront Tony’s lifestyle and her involvement in it. Refusing to take payment from her as it would be “blood money,” Dr. Krakower gives Carmela an example of someone who will not be corrupted and tells her she should take her children and save them by leaving her husband. At the end of the episode, however, she stays with Tony and, instead, insists that he give her $50,000 to donate to Columbia University in the hope Meadow will receive special treatment. Thus, Carmela finally makes a conscious choice to be complicit in Tony’s crimes, in the name of helping her children. Over time, she expresses fears that her choices have marked A.J. and Meadow for life, but she remains unable to break away from the lifestyle that her husband drew her into.
A.J. and Meadow Soprano don’t get much screen time compared to other characters and their storylines generally aren’t central to the series but, in many ways, they are still the most important characters in The Sopranos. They tie the series together by reflecting on its themes and serve as mirrors onto which Tony projects his own flaws, hopes, fears, and traumas. They also act as central motivations for both Tony and Carmela, driving many of their plots forward. By the end of the series, their fates represent both their successes and failures. Neither is truly a part of the criminal underworld, but both are permanently tainted by their upbringing and the sins of their father.
