15 Most Controversial Grey’s Anatomy Couples, Ranked

Grey’s Anatomy is one of Shonda Rhimes’ most beloved creations. The Grey’s charm centers around its vibe as a medical drama, where the focus bounces between surgery and the surgeons’ personal lives. It’s very effective, with the series lasting for around two decades and showing no signs of slowing down any time soon.

Across its run, Grey’s spotlights love and loss as much as surgery and medical breakthroughs. As such, several notable relationships in the show stole fans’ hearts. Then again, there are also plenty of controversial couples that raise eyebrows.

Updated by Maddie Davis on January 16, 2025: Not many shows make it for 20 years, but Grey’s Anatomy did, making it the longest-running medical show in primetime TV history. With its latest season returning soon, fans can probably look out for some new romances. In the meantime, though, Grey’s has 21 seasons full of iconic couples for fans to swoon over and even more couples to cringe over. So, I’ve updated my article to include a few more controversial unions and bring things up to CBR’s current standards.

15. Mark Sloan and Lexie Grey Had an Age Gap

Mark and Lexie Died Together in Grey’s Anatomy Season 8

Mark Sloan became one of the long-term characters in Grey’s Anatomy during Season 3, introduced as Derek’s former best friend. Lexie Grey came along in Season 5, introduced as Meredith Grey’s younger half-sister. The two hit it off soon after they met, with things heating up several episodes into Season 5 when Lexie shows up at Mark’s apartment in the middle of the night. Their chemistry was too strong to fight, sparking one of the show’s most beloved unions. The most controversial aspect of Slexie’s union is their large age gap. For a while after their meeting, Mark views Lexie as a “forbidden fruit” and calls her Little Grey. He’s somewhat ashamed of his relationship with her since she was a “fetus” compared to him. There’s also the inappropriate power dynamic as she was an intern, and he was an attending surgeon, though that’s a common theme across Grey’s Anatomy.

Their 16-year age gap understandably raised eyebrows and introduced some problems for the couple later, as Mark entered fatherhood and Lexie wasn’t ready to take that leap. Slexie was clearly an endgame, as the duo harbored deep romantic feelings toward each other even when they were with other people. Unfortunately, most of their relationship showcased the “right person, wrong time” trope, as they were on and off until their tragic deaths in the Season 8 plane crash. Their last moments together featured them professing their love for each other, talking about growing old together, Mark stroking her hair as she succumbed to her injuries, not leaving her side until their rescue, and joining her in the afterlife shortly after. Grey’s didn’t completely abandon them after that, though, as Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital was renamed in their honor. Season 17 also showed them reuniting with Meredith during her Covid coma beach moment.

14. Meredith Grey and Andrew DeLuca’s Criticism is Hypocritical

Meredith and Andrew Broke Up

Meredith Grey is the main character of Grey’s Anatomy, introduced in the first scene of the pilot, which shows her in a rush to get to work after a one-night stand and sparking one of the best-known relationships in the show. Nothing in Grey’s lasts forever, though, as Meredith becomes widowed in Season 11. Andrew DeLuca enters Grey’s Anatomy the same season as an intern at Grey Sloan. But around Season 15, he goes from being another intern to Meredith’s love interest. Most of Meredith’s love interests stir up at least some controversy during the relationship, and DeLuca is no exception. The first criticism was about his appearance, as being a tall, dreamy brunet man makes him automatically comparable to the legendary McDreamy.

Some felt DeLuca was introduced just to replace him, but that faded with the biggest criticism: the age gap. Many felt that Meredith’s relationship with DeLuca was inappropriate because of their age difference and intern/attending power dynamic, with some even referring to Meredith as “too old” for him, especially in appearance. While the power dynamic is problematic, it’s very common in Grey’s, and some of the same people who criticized Meredith for the relationship didn’t see an issue with other intern/attending relationships throughout the show. Their romance didn’t last long, but they remained friends until DeLuca’s death in Season 17, with their final scene also being on Meredith’s coma beach.

13. Richard Webber and Ellis Grey Were Semi-Unrequited

Richard and Ellis Split During Meredith’s Childhood

Like Meredith, Richard Webber also entered Grey’s Anatomy in the pilot episode, as the Chief of Surgery at the Seattle hospital. He remains “the Chief” even when he’s not in the position, and for most of the show, he leads the education aspect of the hospital’s residency program and acts as a mentor for most characters in the series. But with Meredith, things are slightly more paternal given his problematic relationship with her mother, Ellis Grey. Ellis was also introduced in the first episode, but it’s revealed that she suffers from Alzheimer’s and is a generally sore spot in Meredith’s life, so she’s only featured on occasion throughout the first several seasons. While Ellis dies in Season 3, she appears a few more times, mainly in flashbacks. The audience sees Ellis in her prime as a surgeon, which happens to be when she falls in love with Richard.

The two engaged in an extramarital affair for a few years, with Ellis ready to leave her husband for Richard. But, he couldn’t leave his wife, so Ellis packed up young Meredith and fled to Boston, with Season 10’s penultimate episode introducing their love child, Maggie. The biggest criticisms center around the affair aspect, as cheating is never good, but it’s clear that Ellis was far more invested in the fling, which seems to be its biggest flaw. Ellis Grey was simply not the best person, as she traumatized Meredith’s childhood and even pressured Richard to start drinking, which later turned into an addiction. Still, Richard and Ellis could’ve been adorable—with an alternate-reality episode showcasing their possible relationship—but, they were destined to be a tragedy.

12. Callie Torres and Erica Hahn Acted as a Stepping Stool

Erica Ghosted Callie

When Calliope Torres first appeared on Grey’s Anatomy, she was poised as a love interest for one of the MAGIC interns and a perfect character to fulfill the misogynistic trend of unnecessarily pitting female characters against one another. She got screwed over by the interns, so, naturally, she gravitated toward hanging around the attendings, particularly Erica Hahn, who entered Grey’s as the new head of cardio in Season 4. Erica was a difficult character to tolerate, but Callie certainly liked her early on in her time at Seattle Grace. What started as a friendship quickly sparked into a sexual relationship, which was monumental as Callie went from being married to a man to being the first main character to question their sexuality. Erica helped Callie discover her attraction to women, and Mark helped solidify her attraction to men, so Callie became the first bisexual character in Grey’s Anatomy.

Unfortunately, though, Erica wasn’t meant to last at Seattle Grace, as she had a poor bedside manner, wasn’t exactly cooperative with her coworkers, and was an atrocious teacher. While some applaud Erica for being a strong female surgeon, she simply wasn’t a carefully plotted character, as her only notable plotlines included being a cardio surgeon, coming out as a lesbian, and having various problems with other characters. Perhaps the biggest controversy with Callie and Erica’s relationship pops up at the end when Erica tells Callie that she can’t “kinda be a lesbian.” That implies that bisexuality is either homosexuality in denial or heterosexuality in experimental phases, which echoes real and harmful rhetoric surrounding the bisexual community and leaves the relationship with a bitter conclusion.

11. Izzie Stevens and Denny Duquette Crossed the Line

Izzie Lost Denny Right After Getting Engaged

Izzie Stevens was part of the first intern class featured in Grey’s Anatomy. In Season 2, her resident Miranda Bailey and attending Preston Burke get assigned to a patient with viral cardiomyopathy named Denny Duquette, and Izzie gets assigned as the intern on the case. Unfortunately for her superiors, Izzie ignored every boundary established between patients and doctors and fell in love with Denny. Their relationship didn’t cross the confines of Grey’s Anatomy Season 2, but they stirred up their fair share of controversy in the short period.

It’s hard for even jaded Grey’s fans to discredit the couple, since they were sweet, and Denny was a fantastic character. However, it’s also difficult to get past Izzie’s role as Denny’s surgeon, as she manipulated him into making medical decisions to benefit herself. Plus, of course, there was a storyline that involved an adulterous affair between the two after his death, though it’s unclear whether it was Denny’s ghost or a hallucination.

10. Penny Blake and Callie Torres Were an Exit Strategy

Callie and Penny’s Breakup Happened After Their Exits

Callie Torres wasn’t lonely for long after Erica Hahn left Seattle in Grey’s Anatomy Season 5 as Hahn’s personality opposite, Arizona Robbins, swooped in a few episodes later. Callie and Arizona got married in Season 7 but split in Season 11. Callie was ready to move on from Arizona shortly after the divorce was finalized, leaving the door open for another woman to step into Callie’s life. Penny Blake first entered Grey’s Anatomy on one of the most painful episodes, “How to Save a Life,” as a surgical resident at a small hospital called Dillard, which fans probably recognize as the hospital whose negligence caused Derek Shepherd’s death. She didn’t appear again until Season 12, when she shows up at Meredith’s door for a dinner party as Callie’s new girlfriend, sparking the well-known line, “Perfect Penny killed my husband.”

While Callie is initially shocked and upset by the revelation, she moves past it, and the two date throughout the season. The first controversy centers around Penny’s character, as, like Erica, she didn’t get much care from the writers, with some feeling she was just thrown in for the tension. The biggest, however, seems to be a no-brainer, as Penny accepted a great job opportunity across the country, and Callie decided to follow her. Callie’s big move led to a bitter custody battle between her and Arizona over their daughter, Sophia, which was out of character for both of them. It was also out of character for Callie, after losing the case, to still move across the country. It wasn’t Penny’s fault, but the relationship was just a way to write Callie off the show and didn’t make sense.

9. Amelia Shepherd and Owen Hunt Trauma Bonded

A Hopeless Grey’s Anatomy Relationship, Amelia and Owen Eventually Divorced

Coming from the spinoff, Private Practice, Amelia Shepherd took over as the head of Neuro, following in the footsteps of her brother, Derek. She and Owen Hunt bonded over PTSD and their struggles with trauma. Unfortunately, a relationship built on a trauma bond usually doesn’t last, but Amelia and Owen tried—and failed—to be together. The couple got successfully married despite her initial wedding day blues. They also notably started a family by fostering a baby boy named Leo.

Amelia also takes in Leo’s teenage mother, Betty, and helps her get sober. Unfortunately, their relationship didn’t last after Betty left, and they split shortly before Leo’s adoption. Even though they had good moments, their relationship’s foundation started to crumble immediately. Grey’s Anatomy decided to justify their dysfunctional relationship by revealing a massive brain tumor causing Amelia’s long-term instability. Even after Amelia’s tumor removal, she and Owen had no chance of lasting.

8. George O’Malley and Callie Torres Ended in Disaster

George and Callie Also Got Divorced

Callie Torres entered Grey’s Anatomy in Season 2 and was introduced as an orthopedic goddess. During her first episode on the show, she helps fix George O’Malley’s dislocated shoulder. They hit it off almost immediately and ended up getting married. The biggest problem with their relationship was a severe lack of communication. For starters, Callie constantly fights with George about his best friends and roommates, and George treats Callie like she’s disposable.

Shortly after George’s dad dies, he and Callie elope in Vegas. Their marriage also featured plenty of communication issues, but the worst part is George doesn’t successfully hide his doubts about their relationship. When he got sick from exposure to a toxin, he believed it was a sign that his marriage was toxic—and he actually told his wife that. They were in a dysfunctional relationship, as Callie had insecurity issues, and George wasn’t in love with her. Their marriage ended when George cheated on her with Izzie Stevens and publicly humiliated her over it.

7. Cristina Yang and Preston Burke Had Problems

Burke Left Cristina at the Altar

Cristina Yang was also part of the first intern group in Grey’s, accounting for the final letter in “MAGIC.” She was the most professionally determined, with her specialty practically declared at the beginning of her residency. Cristina was a cardiothoracic goddess, even when she answered to someone else. So, naturally, she worked with Dr. Preston Burke, the first head of cardio, more closely than any other attending. But, much like other controversial couples, the professional boundaries were quickly crossed. Burke and Cristina could’ve been legendary together, as both were extraordinarily talented cardiothoracic surgeons with fantastic chemistry. They were a good team, but several things worked against them in their romantic relationship, even leading to a brief breakup.

Their relationship was almost entirely toxic. Burke constantly took advantage of her love for cardio and his position as her teacher, punishing her for things that happened in their romance, like withholding surgery because she didn’t leap at certain opportunities. He was manipulative, as well, as he tried to shape Cristina into being the perfect little wife for him, pressuring her into giving up her home and pushing her into a big traditional wedding despite her not being interested in it. She also risked her career and several lives while covering up his hand tremor. She wasn’t his equal as a partner should be, so she changed parts of herself to stroke his ego. While there were cute moments like Cristina mentioning being Jewish and Burke educating himself about Judaism, he only loved the person he wanted her to be. He also broke up with her in the most devastating way, as he left her at the altar of a wedding he forced her into, leaving her in cowardly way.

6. The Alex Karev and Ava / Rebecca Pope Storyline Was Problematic

Alex Had to Commit Ava/Rebecca Involuntarily

Grey’s Anatomy’s third season features a mass-casualty event involving a ferry crash. While on the scene, intern Alex Karev rescues a pregnant woman with severe crush-related injuries. Jane Doe bonds with Alex immensely, and he helps her heal by assigning the name Ava to help her cope with her amnesia and physical injuries. Alex remains relatively professional with Ava until she gets her memories back, learns her name is Rebecca Pope, and leaves with her husband to raise their child.

Rebecca doesn’t stay away from Seattle Grace and Alex, though, as she shows up out of the blue in Season 4 and hooks up with Alex. She pops up once more and reveals she’s pregnant by Alex. He’s excited by the idea and does everything to care for Rebecca and the fetus. Unfortunately, there isn’t a fetus, as Rebecca’s pregnancy is a hysterical one caused by an acute stress disorder and underlying borderline personality disorder. Alex showed maturity and dedication to the relationship, but the storyline was bizarre. Rebecca’s character was also poorly written, especially given the added need to properly portray borderline personality disorder.

5. Richard Webber and Catherine Fox Started on Shaky Ground

However, Richard and Catherine are Still Together in Grey’s Anatomy

Richard Webber is one of the few Grey’s Anatomy characters who appeared in the first episode and has stuck around so far. At the beginning of the series, Richard is happily married to his college sweetheart, Adele, but it soon comes out that they aren’t as happy as things seem. While Richard remains dedicated to his wife, an Alzheimer’s diagnosis in Season 7 complicates matters. When Adele forgets who Richard is during her stay at a care facility, Richard decides it’s best to stay away, and during this time away, he reconnects with Catherine Avery (née Fox). Richard and Catherine’s relationship began as an affair, though things don’t get serious until after Adele’s death in Season 9.

Even though they get engaged in Season 11, their relationship hits several bumps before their wedding in the Season 11 finale. In the years they’ve been married, they’ve separated and fought several times. Catherine is manipulative with a superiority complex, and Richard is equally stubborn. One could argue that Catherine doesn’t love Richard, but they would probably never get divorced because they’re too stubborn, and it would make her look bad. The only end to their problems in sight is tragedy, as Catherine still battles Chondrosarcoma—a rare and often fatal form of bone cancer—and the Season 15 surgery to remove the malignant tumor was partially unsuccessful. Unfortunately, despite the inspiration for Catherine’s cancer storyline being a despicable lie, the Grey’s showrunners are stuck with it and Richard will probably suffer more because of it.

4. George O’Malley and Izzie Stevens Had No Chemistry

George and Izzie’s Relationship Just Fizzled

George O’Malley and Izzie Stevens were the “G” and “I” in the original Grey’s Anatomy MAGIC era. The two were absolute best friends, and George supported her through the loss of Denny. They had some problems in their friendship, but nothing compared to George and Izzie having an affair.

As mentioned, George was, in fact, married during the affair. They were also both drunk during their initial hookup, though only Izzie had the memory of the night the next day. Their relationship could’ve been a successful friends-to-lovers adventure, but they had no romantic or sexual chemistry. Most Grey’s fans can agree that George and Izzie were an obvious disaster, but they remained best friends until George’s sudden death in Season 5.

3. Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd Were Often Toxic

Derek’s Car Accident Made Meredith a Widow

Meredith Grey and Derek Shepherd are among Grey’s Anatomy’s best-known and most beloved romances. They met in the first episode after a one-night stand. Like Slexie or Burktina, MerDer also had an age gap and an intern/attending power dynamic. But, unlike the others, Meredith and Derek get married and have kids, leaving them with different issues.

Quite frankly, MerDer is toxic for much of their relationship in Grey’s. Firstly, their union started with adultery and a lie as Derek was married—albeit separated—when they hooked up. There are also several instances where Derek is a toxic character, like when he insults Meredith for moving on from him, keeps leading Meredith on, throws her engagement ring into the woods, and eventually leaves her and their kids to work in DC. MerDer was undeniably iconic, but Derek didn’t always live up to the McDreamy moniker.

2. Jackson Avery and Maggie Pierce Had a Strange Bond

Jackson and Maggie Don’t Last Long and Break Up

Jackson Avery entered Grey’s Anatomy when Seattle Grace merged with Mercy West in Season 6. He was a seasoned surgeon and the head of plastic surgery when Maggie Pierce entered the picture as the new head of cardiothoracic surgery in Season 11. They started dating in Season 14 and lasted through Season 15. Many fans believe that Jackson and Maggie simply weren’t a good match, as their personalities didn’t blend well.

However, the most prominent issue in their courtship was their status as step-siblings. While they were both adamant that they weren’t family, their parents were married and invited them to family dinners often. Jackson’s mom, Catherine, even referred to Maggie as his sister. They didn’t grow up together and don’t view themselves as siblings, but they’re still step-siblings, which could spark an entire debate on the subject. Either way, it’s still a problematic relationship that was bound to fail and was simply unnecessary.

1. Cristina Yang Was Owen Hunt’s Biggest Relationship Failure

Cristina and Owen Got Divorced

Cristina Yang was Meredith’s best friend and “person” from the very first episode of the show. They’re the “Twisted Sisters” and arguably the biggest relationship in Cristina’s life, as they go through everything together with the most unconditional love and respect, which Burke never gave her. She met the incredibly problematic Owen Hunt in Season 5, and he certainly left an impression, stapling his leg and later pulling an icicle out of Cristina. So, fans were hopeful she could finally be happy in a relationship. Unfortunately, when he started work at Seattle Grace, he was battling PTSD, and their relationship had problems from the beginning.

Their connection was strong enough for them to get through it, even after one of his night terrors ended with him choking her. They have their struggles, with Owen even asking Cristina to marry him right after she was traumatized in the hospital shooting. Cristina didn’t want to be married, but she said yes hoping it would help cure her PTSD. And there’s simply no way Owen didn’t realize that, as throughout their relationship, he manipulated her into changing certain parts of herself under the guise of love. Their biggest issue started after their wedding when Cristina, in passing, commented on never having to worry about kids—after years of making her child-free by choice stance clear—and Owen said, “Yeah, yeah,” to dismiss it.

It sparked a big fight where Owen went on a rant, saying that Cristina would change her mind about having kids when she’s an attending and that marriage is about compromise. He essentially called her immature and selfish, said that if she loved him, she’d change her mind, and said that she was in denial because everyone wants children. Unfortunately, when she got pregnant, he also spouted anti-choice rhetoric which is particularly asinine given his medical background, and despite holding her hand during her abortion, he treated her like a murderer and their relationship never recovered. The storyline is one of the most toxic in the show, and it’s unfortunately a common theme for Owen, as he always manipulates his partners into being who he wants instead of who they are. It’s pretty much impossible for Grey’s couples to get worse than Cristina and Owen.