While Elena ended up with Damon Salvatore on The Vampire Diaries, she should have instead been with his brother, Stefan.
Right from the show’s pilot episode, The Vampire Diaries made the love triangle between Elena Gilbert and brothers Stefan and Damon Salvatore a focal point. This classic love triangle trop then lived on for multiple seasons, with Elena finally opting to be with Damon rather than Stefan. However, even as years (and multiple spinoffs) have gone by, many still believe Stelena, the ship pairing of Stefan and Elena, should have been endgame.
Here’s why Elena should ended up with with Stefan, not Damon.
Damon and Elena Are Toxic Together
Damon is incredibly toxic, and his relationship with Elena is far from healthy. In The Vampire Diaries Season 2, Damon shows that he’s unable to handle rejection. After Elena dismisses his advances toward her, Damon responds by killing Jeremy, Elena’s brother, without any hint of remorse. However, this isn’t a one off incident, as Damon remains this way throughout pretty much the entire series. In the show’s fifth season, for example, Elena and Damon’s relationship hits a rough patch, and he reacts by killing Aaron, one of her closest friends.
At this point in the series, not only has Elena lost almost every person in her family, but Damon knows how much she cares for Aaron, so the attempt to punish her here is absolutely purposeful. Although Damon tries to justify his actions, he’s only making excuses for his erratic behavior. Him being angry at Elena does not justify him murdering Aaron to purposefully hurt her. What’s more, Elena rarely addresses Damon’s anger issues. Instead, she continues to forgive him, over and over again, making for a dynamic that’s truly awful.
Elena Was Once Sired To Damon
The Vampire Diaries first mentions a “Sire Bond” in Season 3. Essentially, this bond is one between a vampire and a hybrid species. Eventually, Elena becomes sired to Damon, thus making her loyal to him. Regardless of what she wants to do, she’s forced to do whatever is asked of her, and this is when the two first become a couple.
Elena later claims that she had feelings for Damon before being turned. However, immediately after the bond between the two breaks, their relationship ends. Understandably, the on-again, off-again relationship is much more strained when she’s not being compelled to be with him.
This plotline also has a number of issues of consent. While sired to Damon, Elena can’t consent, as she’s unable to do something he doesn’t approve of her doing. The issue of consent is talked about only sparingly, and unfortunately, not in a way that seriously jeopardizes Damon and Elena’s relationship. In later seasons, the characters actually seem to have conveniently forgotten what happened altogether.
The Love Between Stefan and Elena Is Pure
While Damon is definitely the wrong choice for Elena, Stefan repeatedly proves he’s a better partner for her. Early in the series, Stefan and Elena grew to love each other, and this affection progressed naturally. Unlike with Damon, their love wasn’t the result of a Sire Bond. Stefan also values Elena’s opinions and never forces her to do anything against her will. He even remains true to her after Elena chooses his Damon over him. Unlike his brother, Stefan doesn’t lash out in a jealous rage. Instead, he continues to genuinely be her friend.
In The Vampire Diaries Season 5, Stefan gets his memory erased and forgets Elena. However, he falls in love with her all over again, proving just how natural his love for her really is. During Season 8, Stefan even sacrifices his own life because he believes Damon being alive means more to Elena than him being alive. Within seconds, Stefan makes a selfless decision, choosing Elena’s happiness over his own. Throughout The Vampire Diaries, Stefan values Elena’s happiness and autonomy over and over again.
The Difference in Stefan’s Vampire and Human Emotions
Both Salvatore brothers are incredibly unhinged, for lack of a better term, when they find themselves without their human emotions. Similar to his brother, Stefan has, as a vampire, killed innocent people and turned numerous others. Unlike his brother, however, Stefan does not possess these qualities when his human emotions are in tact. Stefan thus never hurts Elena intentionally, unlike Damon.
With all the twists and turns written into The Vampire Diaries, having Stefan and Elena as endgame seemed plausible up until the series finale. Between Damon’s anger issues, the toxicity of Elena and Damon’s relationship and how pure the love between Stefan and Elena was, it’s hard not to see which brother Elena should have ended up with. Even though she ultimately chose Damon, it’s safe to say Stefan was actually the better choice.
