Bereaved Downton Abbey actress Anna Chancellor, 59, said no one noticed her grief when her daughter died aged 36 because she’s ‘middle aged and invisible’

When Downtown Abbey star Anna Chancellor finds herself crying in public due to the tragic death of her daughter in 2023, passersby fail to notice.

It’s an upsetting reality that the London-based actress, 59, known for her roles in Four Weddings and a Funeral and What a Girl Wants, blames on her being ‘middle-aged and invisible’.

Poppy Chancellor, 36, an illustrator and paper-cut artist, tragically died in September 2023 after battling acute myeloid leukaemia.

Processing the grief remains a work in progress for her mother, Anna, who has found herself mourning the loss of her only child in virtually all places she goes, ‘In a way, when you’ve lost your child you are given a bit of a gold card’, she told The Times, adding, ‘People expect it’.

She has found a hint of solace from her current castmates in Playhouse Creatures, which will be the first play she’s done in nearly a decade, with crew members inviting conversation on the topic of grief and encouraging her that tears are ‘welcome’.

However, Anna has found an entirely different response from the public, and in times when she’s found herself overcome with grief when out, others tend to overlook her.

She said: ‘There’s nowhere I’ve been where I haven’t broken down. I’ve cried on trains, really cried, and no one’s noticed. No one was looking because I am middle-aged, and I am invisible.’

Luckily for Anna, she doesn’t care much about what people think of her, and she has carried that blasé attitude throughout her lifetime. She left school with two O-levels and uprooted to London aged 16 before giving birth to Poppy during drama school.

Naturally, Poppy inherited a similar attitude, having enjoyed a relaxed upbringing in London where she became so climatized to her mother’s raucous parties that she required noise to be able sleep at night.

Her parents split up when she was four years old and she lived with her mother in a basement flat in Shepherd’s Bush, West London. They would be seen out together on the party scene in trendy Ladbroke Grove nearby.

Anna remarried Algerian-born former minicab driver Redha Debbah, who is seven years her junior, in a small Notting Hill ceremony in 2010.

Poppy spoke fondly about her ‘crazy childhood’ with her ‘loving’ mother, whom she described as her ‘best friend’.

‘I was an only child, but I never felt lonely because I was always at the party, or down the bookies with my dad, or in the pub with both of them,’ she once said. ‘There were parties every night and great pubs where everyone would go, so that’s what they did.’

Poppy was no stranger to grief though, and her father, the poet father Jock Scot, died aged 63 from cancer, which led her to set up a support group called Griefcase.

Following his diagnosis in 2014, her father refused chemotherapy after being given 100 days to live. However, he went on to live for another two years.

The experience gave Poppy a pragmatic approach when dealing with her diagnosis in May 2023, which came about after she gained multiple infections following her wisdom teeth removals.

In preparation for her chemotherapy, she bravely shaved off her trademark ‘bob’ hairstyle. ‘Chemo ready,’ she said in 2023. ‘Said goodbye to the bob today – end of an era.’

‘Cancer has always been close to home for me,’ Poppy said in May that same year. ‘I’ve always been interested in cancer awareness and advocating for grief awareness and now it’s all starting to feel very real very quickly.’

She added: ‘Grieving for my life before diagnosis – and coming to terms with all the bruises and needles is a challenge.’

Talking to The Times, Anna said of her daughter: ‘She was rigorous with her dying, as with her grief. She had life insurance. She had every relationship sorted, every amends made, no bad vibes. She was so brave, she was extraordinary.’

In September 2023, Anna, together with other relatives, posted a message on her daughter’s social media in which they paid tribute to ‘an unbelievable life force’.

They also thanked Royal Marsden Hospital staff in London who treated Poppy and sent a message of support to others going through similar ordeals.

‘On September 29 Poppy died, held tight by her immediate family just as she had wished.

‘Despite every effort, her body could not continue any longer. So, we, her family and friends who all adore her join the other families who have lost loved ones far too young.

‘Poppy was and is an unbelievable life force of creativity, compassion, wit, beauty, and sheer uniqueness. She transformed our lives, and we are beyond grateful.’

The 36-year-old had studied at the esteemed Royal Drawing School and worked for a string of high-profile brands including Cath Kidston and Adidas.

King Charles is rumoured to own one of her works, which she gave to him as a thank-you after she attended an artists’ residence at Dumfries House – the Ayrshire-based stately home which he bought for £45 million in 2007.

She also wrote a book titled ‘Cut It Out!’, which teaches readers how to create papercut art from a blank sheet.