Sorry TVD Fans, But I Don’t Think Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert Were Good Together

The Vampire Diaries graced screens at a time when vampires were becoming popular again, and it managed to hit the sweet spot. It had alluring vampires, a relatable female lead, riveting romances, and fantastical creatures who keep fans hooked. The show revolved around Elena Gilbert, a young teen in Mystic Falls who discovered the existence of vampires while coping with the loss of her parents. The entry of the mysterious Stefan Salvatore changed her life forever, as they fell deeply in love with each other, while trying to fight off numerous villains who want to destroy their town and Elena, both.

Stefan was not the only Salvatore in town, however. Soon after he arrived in Mystic Falls, his elder brother, Damon, also made his way to him. Damon was the opposite of Stefan: arrogant, cruel, and flippant about human life. Damon enjoyed being a big, bad vampire, and he made this clear in front of Elena, too. However, it was clear that while Elena was with Stefan, there was a spark between her and Damon, too. Elena was repulsed and intrigued by the elder Salvatore, and considering TVD ended in 2017, everybody knows that Elena eventually chose Damon as her soulmate. It’s safe to say that I wholeheartedly disagree with this conclusion, as Damon was not the right choice for Elena.

Yes, the Delena Romance Was Exciting

I distinctly remember watching The Vampire Diaries when it used to be broadcast on the CW. Stefan and Elena had their cute moments, but the tension between Damon and Elena was delicious. At first, Elena detested Damon’s devil-may-care attitude, openly making her distaste clear for everyone to see. However, after Damon saves Elena from a car accident and goes on a road trip to look for Bree in Season 1, Episode 11, “Bloodlines,” the two start bonding. Elena began to see a softer side to the elder Salvatore brother as he showed her more vulnerability, stepping in to save the day when she needed an escort at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. Seeing the romantic buildup between the two of them made me breathless like most TVD fans: the appeal lay in the fact that Damon and Elena’s romance was a forbidden one. They were not supposed to like each other — after all, Damon was her boyfriend’s brother. As fans, we were living vicariously through the near touches; the longing gazes, and the subtle jealousies that erupted between the two when they were with different people.

In my opinion, the writers did a fabulous job of building up a couple like Delena from scratch. They utilized romantic tropes effectively, making Damon and Elena look like an alluring couple that was actually meant to be but was blocked by the existence of Stefan and Elena’s relationship. Their bond continued to deepen through milestones in every season until Damon admitted to Elena in Seasons 2 and 3 that he was hopelessly in love with her. She stayed confused, which added fuel to the romantic fire that was being stoked by The Vampire Diaries. I was rooting for them to end up together, too, but a rewatch changed my mind completely.

In Retrospect, Damon and Elena Were the Most Ill-Suited to Each Other

Realization hit me when I rewatched The Vampire Diaries recently. Seeing Elena fall for Damon while she was in a relationship already was no longer an enjoyable experience. Damon and Elena had no shared values, and he was the complete opposite of her. While opposites are said to attract, that was not the case here. Elena was known to value empathy, kindness, and vulnerability, and Damon was not merely a closed-off man. He used to regularly compel and abuse women for fun, killed people wantonly, and even snapped Jeremy’s neck because Elena rejected him once. He was not a good person and had hurt Elena too many times to count. Through her family, her friends, and even personally, Damon enjoyed troubling Elena because he could not emotionally regulate himself. For someone as loving and calm as Elena, a volatile man like Damon was not great news.

“You want what everyone wants. You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and adventure and maybe even a little danger.”

– Damon Salvatore to Elena Gilbert

There was no doubt that Damon excited Elena. Compared to Stefan, he was dangerous, alluring, and intoxicating in how he lived his life. He followed every impulse and all of his heart’s desires but to a toxic extent. Damon did not have a moral compass for a long time, although he was said to have developed one during his famous redemption arc in The Vampire Diaries. However, growing a conscience did not excuse him of his past ill deeds, which were magically forgiven on the show. Whether it was killing a pregnant lady or leaving his friend Enzo behind to be tortured, Damon was allowed to get away with anything. Damon had a habit of imposing his will on Elena when he thought he was correct, which included force-feeding her his blood so that she would become a vampire instead of dying. Their sire bond was also evidence of how toxic they were: Elena was compelled to listen to and follow Damon’s desires, even if neither of them knew it at the time. Elena was, at her core, a good person who could not tolerate seeing anyone in pain. I was shocked that anyone could think that someone as brash and cruel as Damon could be a fit for Elena Gilbert.

Stefan and Elena Were a Much Healthier Pair

Now, when I look at the love triangle in The Vampire Diaries, I realize that Stefan was the right choice for Elena. He was a strong support system to her when she was going through the most painful period of her life. Being with Stefan taught Elena how to smile and fall in love again, which she felt that she had lost permanently when she lost her parents. He was a quiet but steadfast rock for her, which was what she needed. Most importantly, Stefan and Elena shared the same values. Now, I’m not insinuating that Stefan Salvatore was a saint. He had a history of violence and bloodlust, but his penance was as long, if not longer. He had given up on human blood so that his Ripper tendencies would stay in control, and he practiced kindness in his daily life. When his humanity was on, Stefan was sometimes gentler than even the average human. These qualities matched Elena’s own sensibilities, which was what made Stefan the right fit for her. I was further convinced that Stelena was the real deal when the two lines of doppelgängers, originating from Amara and Silas, were revealed. While many TVD fans felt that this cheapened Stefan and Elena’s bond, I thought it reinforced how perfect they were for each other. Stefan and Elena’s love was not only an epic one but also a true one.

“When we were together, every single atom in my body told me that it was the right thing—that we were the perfect fit.”

– Stefan Salvatore to Elena Gilbert

They were meant to be, and nature designed them to be perfect for each other. Coupled with how much they loved each other innately, Stefan and Elena were an ideal couple. Most importantly, Stefan respected Elena a lot more than Damon. He respected her choices and her decisions and let her have her agency despite being older than her. Elena never had to struggle to be with Stefan, and it came a lot more naturally to her than being with Damon. I would go as far as saying that if Nina Dobrev had not exited The Vampire Diaries, Stefan and Elena had a fair chance of getting back together. They could have easily rekindled the spark that drove them in the first place, but since Elena was gone for two seasons, there was no time to explore this. Damon and Elena were established in Season 6, but they were shaky even then. The commitment to become human was a big tussle for them, and when Damon agreed to it, it seemed half-hearted. Even the union of Delena in the series finale seemed half-hearted, and Stefan’s farewell speech was a lot more poignant. This only reinforced my belief that he was the right man for Elena, and definitely not Damon.