The very first episode of David Chase’s The Sopranos has Tony Soprano (James Gandolfini) obsessed with a family of ducks living in his swimming pool. This singular moment immediately tells the viewer that this isn’t going to be your run-of-the-mill mob show, but instead, something much deeper. When Tony is persuaded into speaking with a therapist, he sees Dr. Jennifer Melfi (Lorraine Bracco), telling her about the ducks and his fears about when they flew away and out of his life during his son, A.J.’s (Robert Iler), birthday party.
Tony says, “I’m afraid I’m gonna lose my family like I lost the ducks.” This fear and the pool are revisited in the most frightening way near the very end of The Sopranoswhen A.J. attempts to take his own life in that very spot. It’s a heartbreaking scene, but Tony’s reaction is his greatest moment in the entire series.
Tony and A.J. Have a Contentious Relationship in ‘The Sopranos’
Tony Soprano and his son, Anthony John Soprano Jr. (A.J.), are at once strikingly similar and incredibly different. Tony is a man who most people respect, and if they don’t, they fear him; he exudes power and influence, a natural leader in every sense. The polar opposite of Tony, A.J. is spoiled, lazy, and just wants to mope around the house and play video games. With zero goals or motivation for his life, he’s the opposite of his older sister, Meadow (Jamie-Lynn Sigler), the booksmart overachiever who has a major zest for life. While Tony and A.J. don’t seem to have anything in common at all, both men are riddled with anxiety; the only difference, though, is that Tony hides it while A.J. wears it on his sleeve, much to his father’s disgust.
Tony has certainly snapped at A.J. more than once over the course of the series as a result of this. When A.J. gets expelled from school and talks back to his father, Tony slaps him hard across the face, and when he curses out his mother, Carmela (Edie Falco), Tony puts a hand around his throat. Sick of his teenage son being lazy, he tries to set him up with a construction job. “I just want to see you good. You’re my son and I love you,” Tony tells him. When A.J. gets annoyed and disrespects him, though, Tony smashes the windshield of his car (which he paid for). Tony loves A.J., but he also doesn’t fully understand him, even admitting to Dr. Melfi that he hates him. Tony wants a son who commands respect like he does and has passion like Meadow does.
A.J. Has a Mental Breakdown After a Break-Up With His Girlfriend
A.J. might be one of The Sopranos’ most annoying characters, because in a series filled with strong, charismatic people, A.J. is weak and whiny, playing the victim instead of taking control. This, however, is also what makes him one of the show’s best characters, because A.J. feels real and raw. He’s a teenage boy, one who has not only had his father’s emotional issues passed down to him, but who has to live as the son of a man in the mafia; a man who gives him everything, but who isn’t there for him in the way that he needs most.
A.J. has always had a bit of a darker side to him throughout the series. When his grandmother dies, he hears her ghost, and at his confirmation, he says that there is no God. With so much on his mind, he loses himself in the numbness of TV, video games, and hanging out with his friends who only want to have a good time. The facade finally comes crashing down in his relationship with Bianca Selgado (Dania Ramirez), though. A.J. adores his girlfriend and even proposes to her, but when she breaks it off, his mental health immediately plummets. He quits his job and talks about suicide, leading to his worried mother getting him into therapy. Tony opens up about the situation to Dr. Melfi, blaming himself for A.J. inheriting his “rotten f*****g putrid genes.” A.J. only continues to spiral, even attacking another kid, but he seems to take a turn for the better, taking medication and going back to college.
Tony Soprano Comes to A.J.’s Rescue When He Attempts to End His Life in “The Second Coming”
In the third to last episode of The Sopranos, “The Second Coming,” all the progress that A.J. has made falls away. After reading W.B. Yeats’ “The Second Coming,” he decides to end his life in the family pool. We see him sitting on the edge of the diving board, holding a cinder block in his lap that’s tied to his legs. He stares off into the distance, a single tear falling down his face as he works up the courage to put a plastic bag over his head and chuck the block into the water, which pulls him under. It’s a huge shock, not only because of who it is, but because of the show that this is. People die on The Sopranos in practically every episode, and we have every right to believe that these are his last moments, but A.J. quickly regrets his decision, fighting to stay afloat while he screams for help. Fiction often romanticizes suicide and makes it immediate, but “The Second Coming” shows how painful and drawn out it can be, spotlighting how its victims might want to take the decision back the moment that they make it.
Luckily for A.J., Tony gets home at the right time and hears his son’s calls for help. He walks out the back door dressed in a suit, wondering just what his son could be up to. When he sees the scene in the pool, his annoyance immediately falls away, and he leaps into the pool without a second thought. Saving A.J. won’t be easy, though, as he has to swim to the bottom of the pool to grab the cinder block, showing off his impressive strength. Despite that, Tony’s finally able to pull A.J. out of the water. His son bawls uncontrollably while Tony shakes him and screams, “What’s wrong with you?,” but that only makes A.J. cry even harder. Seeing how emotionally destroyed he is, Tony’s tone changes, and he softly asks if his son is okay before putting his head in his lap and stroking his wet hair as he, too, cries and calls him his baby. It’s impossible to watch that scene and not cry yourself.
It’s The Sopranos’ most serious moment, and it extends to when A.J. is being wheeled away to a psychiatric hospital as his Carmela. Tony even talks about it seriously to his crew, and they don’t know what to say. “Where did I lose this kid?” Tony asks, “What did I do wrong?” Tony Soprano has made a ton of mistakes in his life, especially with his family, from cheating so often on Carmela, yelling at A.J., and telling Meadow that she can’t date a man who isn’t white. In “The Second Coming” we see that underneath such serious flaws, Tony is still a man who cares; he’ll risk his life for the ones he loves most and is capable of letting his tough exterior down. Saving A.J. and crying along with him is heartbreaking, but it’s also Tony Soprano at his absolute finest.
